You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize