We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
