Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
