My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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