Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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