Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
