I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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