i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
