If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
