You just made me feel so damn special
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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