Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
