so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
