I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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