Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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