Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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