i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
