Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
