Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
