Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
