Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
