last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
