Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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