Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
