If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
