drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
