I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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