what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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