I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
