it wasn't lemon gatorade
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
