I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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