Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
