Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
