she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
