she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
