So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
