im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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