the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There's always time for handjobs
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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