theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltđ
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I swear to God if you start calling your dick âmy pegasusâ weâre not friends anymore
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
