what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Randomize
