Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
