Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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