Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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