Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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