I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
