why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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