In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
