I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
