are you still at the devil's house?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
