And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
