i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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