How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
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Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
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I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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