You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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