My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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