but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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