Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
