He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
