I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
