I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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