I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
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Said the drunk pirate with a peg leg.
He used to do one hell of a sea shanty until he took a crocodile to the knee.
Nope. Two knees and two hands on the floor, and one face in the toilet.
Nope. On your back, knees spread wide apart
Hahaha! Just what I was gonna say! \n(assuming poster is female)
Or in the ER.
Too right not on two legs, you'll be on the floor pretty soon. On the plus side you may well get carried out.