I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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