Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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