at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
