you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
