I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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