Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
