Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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