It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
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Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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