I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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