oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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