i jhust puked up my retainher.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
