I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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