This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
