Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
