the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
